She wasn’t in love with Valerie’s father when she married him, either, and now they are very happy together, allegedly.Īs if this weren’t enough drama for one teenage girl’s life, Valerie must also contend with the fact that her village is occasionally terrorized by a werewolf. Valerie’s mother (Virginia Madsen) tells her love is irrelevant, and that arranged marriages are the way to go.
Everyone still lives in their own filth.) She is in love, however, with Peter (Shiloh Fernandez), a humble woodcutter who loves her dearly in return. (Wealthy by 14th-century peasant standards, anyway. Played by the winsome Amanda Seyfried, Valerie is the daughter of a humble woodcutter (Billy Burke) and is betrothed to Henry (Max Irons), the son of a wealthy blacksmith. Red Riding Hood ain’t little anymore, y’all! (I assume this is like when Li’l Bow Wow became just Bow Wow.) She’s not even Red Riding Hood. It’s also a soap opera! With forbidden passions and love triangles and everything! Hardwicke directed “Twilight,” you’ll recall, and would apparently like to continue directing it, over and over again. For you see, this is more than just a fantasy tale set in the Middle Ages in a tiny village near a dark forest. Hamstrung from the outset by David Leslie Johnson’s (“Orphan”) cheesy screenplay, Hardwicke makes things worse with a self-serious tone that’s outrageously at odds with the material’s inherent frivolity. This thing she made, called “Red Riding Hood,” is a dumb mess, stylish but ludicrous. Someone other than Catherine Hardwicke, I mean. If some savvy filmmaker wanted to emphasize that side of it, really bring out the horror, maybe even make the wolf into a werewolf, establish some Gothic romance to balance the supernatural elements - well, that would be a fine thing to do.
“Little Red Riding Hood,” like many fairy tales, is a dark and gruesome story that ought to traumatize children more than it does.
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